🌿 Making Space for Every Feeling: How Acceptance Helps Kids Grow Steady Hearts
- Michael R Kiel
- Oct 12
- 5 min read
If you've ever heard your child say, "I don't want to feel sad," or wished you could fix any hard moment for them, you're not alone.
Kids and adults alike often try to resist or avoid strong, unpleasant emotions, thoughts, and sensations. It makes sense — they’re uncomfortable. But ironically, the more we fight our feelings, the stronger they often become.
That’s where one of the core skills from Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) can help: Acceptance. Acceptance teaches us to allow thoughts and emotions to exist — without fighting, hiding, or forcing them to disappear. It’s not passive; it’s practice. And over time, this gentle skill becomes an emotional muscle that helps kids (and parents) stay steady, even when life feels messy.
Research shows that acceptance-based approaches help reduce distress and improve emotional regulation for both children and adults (Hayes, Strosahl, & Wilson, 2012; Hofmann & Asmundson, 2008).
💛 Understanding Acceptance in Kids
When children push away sadness, fear, or anger, those feelings often return stronger. Emotional avoidance can create cycles of anxiety and frustration — for both the child and the parent trying to help.
Acceptance breaks this cycle by teaching kids to make space for their feelings rather than suppress them. In doing so, they learn that emotions are temporary and manageable, not dangerous or defining.
Neuroscience research supports this approach: when children (and adults) learn to make space for their emotions instead of resisting them, the brain responds in healthier ways. Acceptance practices help quiet activity in the amygdala — our brain’s alarm center — and strengthen the prefrontal regions that support calm decision-making and perspective-taking. Importantly, studies show that acceptance, not just awareness, leads to lower emotional reactivity and greater balance over time (Chambers et al., 2008; Lindsay & Creswell, 2017).
When children learn to say, “I feel angry — and I can breathe through it,” they’re not ignoring their feelings; they’re learning emotional flexibility — a foundation for resilience.
🌱 How to Introduce Acceptance at Home for Kids
Acceptance begins with language and modeling. Parents can introduce the idea in small, everyday moments by showing openness to their own emotions:
🪶 “I feel frustrated right now — and that’s okay. I can take a breath.”
☁️ “That thought feels heavy today, but I’ll let it pass like a cloud.”
🌊 “This feeling is like a wave. It will come, and it will go.”
Pair these ideas with sensory anchors—soft textures, sounds, or colors — that ground the body as feelings move through. Bedtime reflections, gentle touch, or even holding a warm cup of tea can become moments of shared calm.
Acceptance practices like these strengthen family connection and help kids understand that emotions can be felt safely (Coyne, McHugh, & Martinez, 2011; Dahl et al., 2015).
🕊️ Introducing the “Making Space” Cards
To make acceptance tangible, we created the Making Space Cards—a simple, kid-friendly way for families to practice emotional openness together.
Each card blends three gentle prompts:
Awareness – “What am I feeling right now?”
Action – “How can I hold this feeling with kindness?”
Try Saying – “All feelings are welcome here.”
Some favorites include:
💧 Raindrop Moment: “This feeling will pass like rain.”
🔥 Candle Breath: “I can feel this and still choose gentle actions.”
🌈 Open Sky: “Big feelings, wide space.”
Each card is designed as a starting point — not for crisis moments, but for calm exploration when you and your child are ready to reflect. Over time, you’ll notice which cards your child connects with most. Those favorites can then become gentle reminders during everyday challenges.
Importantly, acceptance doesn’t mean we must welcome every situation — some moments are overwhelming, and that’s okay. The goal is to build comfort and capacity to make space for more of life’s feelings over time.
🌿 Small Practices with Big Impact
Emotional growth doesn’t happen all at once — it grows through small, steady steps. When families use one Making Space Card each day, they build habits of noticing and allowing.
Try focusing on one emotion at a time:
🌧️ Sadness: “It’s okay to feel sad. Let’s sit together for a moment.”
🔥 Anger: “I can feel heat and still choose gentle hands.”
🌬️ Worry: “This worry can float by like a leaf on water.”
Studies show that small, consistent social-emotional practices improve regulation, empathy, and resilience (Durlak et al., 2011). Each small acceptance moment is one step toward steadiness.
💫 Reflection and Connection
The “What Did I Notice?” page helps kids pause and reflect — turning emotional experiences into insight. Instead of asking, “Were you good today?” ask, “What feeling showed up most?”
This simple shift encourages awareness, compassion, and shared understanding. Younger kids might draw their answers in color; older kids might write or share stories. When parents join in, reflection becomes connection — a safe place to learn together (Schonert-Reichl et al., 2015; Creswell, 2017).
🌙 Closing: Making Space, One Feeling at a Time
Acceptance doesn’t mean liking every feeling — it means making room for them. Even in tough moments, we can remind our children:
“You are not just one feeling. You are the space that holds them all.”
✨ Try this next:
Download the free Making Space Cards to begin your family’s acceptance journey.
Watch for Avery and His Lantern, releasing October 15 — a heartwarming Acceptance Acres story about courage, compassion, and light. Check out our store.
Subscribe to the Mindful Living Resources newsletter for next month’s free printable and gentle family resources.
We’d love to hear your favorite “making space” moments — those times when you or your child practiced being kind to a feeling instead of fighting it. 🌿Tag us on social media, send a quick note, or share in the comments — we love hearing how families are growing steady hearts together.
✨ And stay tuned — we’re developing a larger Making Space Acceptance Bundle, filled with story-driven tools, creative activities, and gentle practices to support your family’s emotional journey.
🧾 Reference List
Chambers, R., Lo, B. C. Y., & Allen, N. B. (2008). The impact of intensive mindfulness training on attention and emotion regulation. Cognitive Therapy and Research, 32(3), 303–322. Read more here.
Coyne, L. W., McHugh, L., & Martinez, E. R. (2011). Acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT): Advances and applications with children, adolescents, and families. Child and Adolescent Psychiatric Clinics of North America, 20(2), 379–399. Read more here.
Creswell, J. D. (2017). Mindfulness interventions. Annual Review of Psychology, 68, 491–516. Read more here.
Dahl, C. J., Lutz, A., & Davidson, R. J. (2015). Reconstructing and deconstructing the self in contemplative practice. Trends in Cognitive Sciences, 19(9), 515–523. Read more here.
Durlak, J. A., Weissberg, R. P., Dymnicki, A. B., Taylor, R. D., & Schellinger, K. B. (2011). The impact of enhancing students’ social and emotional learning: A meta-analysis of school-based interventions. Child Development, 82(1), 405–432. Read more here.
Hayes, S. C., Strosahl, K. D., & Wilson, K. G. (2012). Acceptance and Commitment Therapy: The Process and Practice of Mindful Change (2nd ed.). New York: Guilford Press. Read more here.
Hofmann, S. G., & Asmundson, G. J. G. (2008). Acceptance and mindfulness-based therapy: New wave or old hat? Clinical Psychology Review, 28(1), 1–16. Read more here.
Lindsay EK, Creswell JD. Mechanisms of mindfulness training: Monitor and Acceptance Theory (MAT). Clin Psychol Rev. 2017 Feb;51:48-59. Read more here.
Schonert-Reichl, K. A., Oberle, E., Lawlor, M. S., Abbott, D., Thomson, K., Oberlander, T. F., & Diamond, A. (2015). Enhancing cognitive and social–emotional development through a mindfulness-based school program. Developmental Psychology, 51(1), 52–66. Read more here.
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