Big Feelings After the Holidays: What's Normal, What Helps, and When to Get Support
- Michael R Kiel
- Dec 26, 2025
- 7 min read
A calm, practical guide for parents navigating the January transition.
After the holidays, many parents notice a shift.
Children who seemed excited and energized may abruptly feel more sensitive, more tired, or harder to soothe. Routines that once felt manageable may suddenly come with more resistance. Even parents who were looking forward to returning to structure may find that things feel a little unsteady.
This can raise quiet questions: Is this normal? Did we miss something? Should things feel easier by now?
In most cases, these post-holiday changes are not a sign that something is wrong. They are a typical response to a season filled with stimulation, frequent transitions, and emotional intensity.
This blog article is meant to help parents understand questions such as:
Why do big feelings often show up after the holidays?
What does "normal" look like during this phase?
What tends to help things settle - and what often doesn't?
When might it be helpful to consider extra support?
Please keep in mind, there's no checklist to complete and no urgency to act.
January is often less about fixing and more about settling.
January is a Settling Month for Big Feelings After the Holidays
For many families, January doesn't feel like a fresh start.
Instead of renewed energy, parents often notice increased sensitivity, fatigue, or a sense that things feel a little "off" in both themselves and their children. This can be confusing, especially after a season that may have included joy, connection, and time together.
But January is often less about starting over and more about settling back in.
Research on child development consistently shows that routines play a central role in emotional regulation and behavioral stability. When routines are disrupted - even temporarily - children often need time to regain a sense of predictability and internal balance (Selman et al., 2024). After weeks of schedule changes, sleep, stimulation, and expectations, nervous systems don't always reset on a calendar date.
This doesn't mean something has gone wrong.
It often means systems are finding their footing again, parent and child alike.
Why Big Feelings Often Show Up After the Holidays
The holiday season places increased demands on children's nervous systems - and adults', too.
There are often:
Shifts in daily routines
Later bedtimes or disrupted sleep
Increased social and emotional demands
Heightened excitement followed by sudden quiet
Even when these experiences are positive, they require ongoing physiological and emotional regulation. Research shows that disruptions in sleep and daily rhythms are closely linked to increased emotional reactivity and reduced frustration tolerance in children (Lollies et al., 2022).
When routines resume, the nervous system doesn't always transition smoothly. Instead of returning immediately to baseline, children may experience a period of adjustment in which emotions rise more quickly and coping feels harder.
Rather than indicating a problem, these reactions often reflect emotional whiplash - the nervous system recalibrating after a stretch of heightened stimulation.
What "Normal" Big Feelings Can Look Like in Kids
After the holidays, many parents notice subtle but meaningful changes in their children's behavior. These shifts are often inconsistent and easy to second-guess.
Common experiences during this time include:
Quicker tears or stronger reactions to small frustrations
Irritability or moodiness that comes and goes
Increased clinginess or reassurance-seeking
Resistance as routines resume
Pulling back, seeming quieter, or wanting more space
Fatigue that lingers longer than expected
Developmental research on emotional regulation emphasizes that these behaviors often reflect temporary difficulties managing internal states rather than signs of pathology (Paulus et al., 2021). In other words, children may look more emotional not because something is wrong, but because their regulatory systems are still stabilizing.
For many families, these patterns ease gradually as predictability returns and demands soften - especially when the settling process is not rushed.
Why These Reactions Make Sense
From a nervous system perspective, the post-holiday period is not a setback - it is a recovery phase.
Periods of excitement, novelty, and emotional intensity activate stress-response systems in the brain, even when the experiences are positive. Research on stress physiology shows that the brain - particularly the prefrontal cortex, which supports regulation and flexibility - is sensitive to prolonged activation and requires time to return to optimal functioning (McEwen & Morrison, 2013).
During this recalibration, children may:
Remain more reactive for a period of time
Need additional rest or reassurance
Struggle more with transitions and expectations
These responses do not mean emotions are worsening. They indicate that the nervous system is reorganizing and regaining balance.
Understanding this shift can help parents move from "How do we fix this?" to "How do we support settling?"
Often, the most effective support during this phase involves reducing pressure, maintaining predictability, and offering a steady presence while systems stabilize.
Nothing needs to be rushed.
What Helps Most During This 'Settling' Phase
During a settling season, support often looks quieter than parents expect.
Rather than adding new strategies or pushing for emotional improvement, what tends to help most is to soften the pace and increase predictability. Research consistently shows that children regulate more effectively when they experience steady routines, relational safety, and co-regulation from caregivers (Selman et al., 2024; Perry & Szalavitz, 2017).
Many families find it helpful to focus on:
Predictability over productivity
Familiar routines support emotional regulation, even if everything isn't entirely "back to normal" yet.
Connection before correction
Presence and attunement help calm nervous systems more effectively than explanation or problem-solving when emotions are high.
Slower transitions
Allowing extra time between activities can reduce stress for children whose systems are still recalibrating.
Rest - physical and emotional
Sleep, quiet time, and fewer demands support recovery after prolonged stimulation (Lollies et al., 2022).
Letting feelings move through
Emotions do not need to be solved in order to pass; being accompanied is often enough (Hayes et al., 2006).
These supports do not require perfection. Even small adjustments can create meaningful shifts when systems are settling.
What Often Doesn't Help (Even When We Mean Well)
When children seem more emotional or unsettled, it's natural for parents to want to make things better quickly.
Common, well-intended responses include:
Rushing feelings away
Trying to fix emotions immediately
Offering repeated reassurance that doesn't seem to stick
Pushing logic or positivity before feelings have settled
Over-explaining or asking many questions in the moment
These responses come from care - not failure.
However, research on stress and emotional regulation suggests that when the nervous system is activated, cognitive input and reassurance often have limited impact (McEwan & Morrison, 2013). In these moments, children may not yet be able to use explanations, even when they are true and kind.
From an ACT-informed perspective, attempts to remove or override uncomfortable internal experiences can unintentionally increase distress rather than reduce it (Hayes et al., 2006). This does not mean parents should stop supporting their children - only that timing and pacing matter.
Often, children don't need emotions to disappear. They need space for them to move through - with steady presence alongside.
A Gentle Parent Check-In
This phase doesn't require monitoring or fixing - but it can be helpful to notice patterns with curiosity.
A simple check-in might include gently reflecting on:
When do emotions seem to show up most easily right now?
Are there particular times of day that feel harder or more tender?
What seems to help things settle, even a little?
Where might slowing down ease pressure - for your child, or for you?
Research on parental attunement and reflective functioning highlights that awareness alone can improve regulation and reduce stress - without requiring immediate action (Fonagy et al., 2018).
Essentially, there are no right answers here. Sometimes, understanding what's happening is enough to bring relief.
When Extra Support Can Be Helpful
For many families, this settling phase passes with time and gentle support.
Sometimes, though, it can be helpful to check in with additional support - not because something is wrong, but because guidance can make things feel steadier. Research consistently emphasizes that early, supportive consultation is associated with better outcomes than waiting until distress escalates (Kazdin, 2017).
You might consider reaching out if:
Big feelings feel intense or frequent over an extended period
Daily routines become consistently difficult to manage
Your child seems stuck in distress rather than gradually settling
You're feeling overwhelmed, depleted, or unsure as a parent
Seeking support does not mean you missed something.
It does not mean things are getting worse.
It often means you're noticing that extra perspective could help.
How to Think About Support Options
(If You Ever Need Them)
Support does not have to be all-or-nothing.
It can look like:
A conversation with a trusted professional
A school-based check-in
Parent guidance or consultation
Therapy focused on skills, flexibility, and emotional resilience
From an ACT persepctive, support is not about eliminating difficult feelings, but about helping families respond to them in ways that are workable and aligned with their values (Hayes, 2011).
Support is guidance and partnership - not escalation or failure.
And there is no deadline for deciding.
A Reassuring Closing Thought
January is a settling month.
There is no finish line to reach, and no timeline you need to follow. If things feel uneven right now, that doesn't mean something is wrong. It often means bodies and emotions are still finding their rhythm again.
You're allowed to move slowly.
You're allowed to pause.
And you're allowed to seek support - or simply let things unfold a bit longer.
A Gentle End Note
If you'd like a quiet place to pause with what you're noticing - without trying to fix or decide anything - we offer a free, gentle parent check-in resource designed for exactly this post-holiday season.
You can find it at our Free Materials – For Parents and More page. It's always there as support, whenever it may feel helpful.
Take care,
Michael Kiel, MA
Licensed Professional Counselor
Founder, Mindful Living Resources
References
Fonagy, P., Gergely, G., Jurist, E. L., & Target, M. (2018). Affect regulation, mentalization, and the development of the self. Routledge. Link
Hayes, S. C. (2011). Acceptance and Commitment Therapy and contextual behavioral science: Examining the progress of a distinctive model of behavioral and cognitive therapy. Behavior Therapy, 42(4), 639–665. Link
Hayes, S. C., Luoma, J. B., Bond, F. W., Masuda, A., & Lillis, J. (2006). Acceptance and Commitment Therapy: Model, processes, and outcomes. Behaviour Research and Therapy, 44(1), 1–25. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.brat.2005.06.006
Kazdin, A. E. (2017). Addressing the treatment gap: A key challenge for extending evidence-based psychosocial interventions. Behaviour Research and Therapy, 88, 7–18. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.brat.2016.06.004
Lollies, F., et al. (2022). Associations of sleep and emotion regulation processes in children and adolescents: A systematic review. Sleep Medicine Reviews, 63. Link
McEwen, B. S., & Morrison, J. H. (2013). The brain on stress: Vulnerability and plasticity of the prefrontal cortex over the life course. Neuron, 79(1), 16–29. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.neuron.2013.06.028
Perry, B. D., & Szalavitz, M. (2017). The boy who was raised as a dog (Revised ed.). Basic Books. Link
Selman, S. B. & Dilward-Bart, J.E. (2023). Routines and child development: A systematic review. Journal of Family Therapy. Link
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