Helping Kids With Transitions: Practice Before It’s Time to Switch
By Michael Kiel, MA, LPC
Have you ever given your child a five-minute warning, then a two-minute warning, then one last reminder—only for turning off the tablet to still become a really hard transition?
Or maybe it’s leaving the playground.
Getting ready for school.
Moving from playtime to homework.
Coming inside for dinner.
Starting the bedtime routine.
Everyday transitions ask kids to stop one thing and start something else. Sometimes that switch is hard—even when they know it's coming.
Plenty of strategies may help children with transitions. Visual schedules, timers, advance warnings, routines, choices, and other supports can all be useful.
But there’s another piece we can sometimes overlook:
We don’t have to wait for the hardest transition to start learning what helps.
We can practice during smaller, everyday switches too.
Helping Kids With Transitions
Can Start Before the Hard Ones
When a child is already upset about leaving the playground, that may not be the easiest time to introduce a brand-new strategy.
There’s already a lot happening.
They might be disappointed that something fun is ending. Their body might feel activated. They may be thinking about what they still wanted to do. And we may be watching the clock because we really do need to leave.
Practicing during lower-pressure moments gives us a little more room to explore.
Maybe your child practices stopping one game and choosing another.
Maybe you use a timer before snack time when you don’t urgently need to be somewhere.
Maybe you practice putting an unfinished drawing somewhere safe before moving on to something else.
This idea also fits with broader research on family routines and predictability.
Research has linked predictable family routines with aspects of children’s emotional and behavioral regulation, although these relationships can differ across children and circumstances (Miller et al., 2017).
The goal isn’t to manufacture difficult transitions for practice.
It’s simply to notice the small transitions that are already happening throughout the day and occasionally use one as an opportunity to learn together.
Practice With Small Everyday Switches
You might experiment with transitions such as:
Building with blocks → having a snack
Playing outside → coming inside
Coloring → taking a bath
One game → another game
Getting shoes on → leaving the house
You can keep the practice small.
Try a reminder. Use a timer. Let your child choose what happens first or next when there really is a choice. Find a place to save an unfinished activity. Try moving from one activity to another in a playful way.
Then pay attention.
Not just to whether the transition was “successful.”
Pay attention to what happened.
Notice What Makes a Transition Easier—or Harder
One of the most common pieces of advice for helping kids with transitions is to give them advance warning.
And that can be helpful.
But there’s an interesting wrinkle.
Research on advance notice has not found that it works equally well in every situation. A review by Brewer and colleagues (2014) found evidence supporting advance-notice strategies, but also examined studies in which advance notice did not reduce transition-related difficulties. The authors emphasized that the circumstances surrounding the transition can affect whether advance notice is useful.
Much of this research has involved children with autism and other developmental disabilities, so we should be careful about applying every finding to every child.
Still, it offers a useful reminder:
A commonly recommended strategy isn’t automatically the right strategy for every child or every transition.
One child might appreciate a five-minute warning.
Another might become increasingly frustrated as each countdown reminds them that something they enjoy is about to end.
If repeated warnings make a transition harder, you might try something different.
Maybe your child does better with one predictable reminder instead of several countdowns.
Maybe a simple phrase such as:
“It’s almost time to put the blocks away. Would you like to finish this part or take a picture so you can come back to it?”
is more useful.
Or perhaps your child responds better to a familiar routine—
“Shoes, backpack, then car.”
—than to hearing how many minutes are left.
We don’t have to replace one universal rule with another.
We can try a different kind of support and notice what happens.
The same principle applies to other transition strategies.
One child may like choosing between two ways to move to the next activity.
Another may find an additional choice overwhelming when they’re already trying to switch gears.
Even the same child may respond differently depending on the day, the activity, how tired they are, or how important the activity feels to them.
That doesn’t necessarily mean we used the strategy incorrectly.
It gives us information.
We can ask ourselves:
What did I notice?
What did my child seem to notice?
Is there anything we’d want to keep, change, or try differently next time?
Over time, we’re not just collecting transition strategies.
We’re learning more about our unique child.
Let Your Child Help Shape the Practice
Kids can sometimes tell us about a strategy in ways we wouldn’t have figured out on our own.
Maybe your child tells you:
“I hate when the timer makes that noise.”
That’s useful information.
Maybe they want to choose the timer sound.
Maybe they would rather have you tell them when five minutes are left.
Maybe they want their LEGO creation to stay on the table while they’re gone.
Maybe hopping like a frog to the bathroom makes the transition fun one day—and feels incredibly annoying the next.
When we have room, we can let children help figure out what practice looks like for them.
We don’t have to accept every request or make every transition optional.
But we can be curious about their experience.
Practice Doesn’t Mean the
Transition Has to Go Smoothly
Practicing transitions doesn’t guarantee that a child will happily stop something they enjoy the next time we ask.
They may still be disappointed.
They may still complain.
They may still need support.
And sometimes the transition may still be really hard.
That doesn’t erase what you’ve practiced together.
Research on family regularity offers another useful piece of the picture.
Predictable routines have been linked to positive developmental outcomes, but researchers have also found important differences in how children may respond to them (Miller et al., 2017). In other words, predictability can matter without requiring us to assume that every child needs exactly the same kind of structure.
The goal isn’t to teach a child how to perform a perfectly calm transition.
We’re helping them become familiar with different ways to approach everyday switches—and learning together what seems useful.
A Few Transition Ideas to Practice Together
Here are a few simple ideas you can experiment with during ordinary transitions:
Notice the switch.
Before moving on, briefly name what is happening:
“We’re finishing ________________ and getting ready for __________________.”
Save what isn’t finished.
If possible, give an unfinished project a place to wait.
A drawing can stay on the table. Blocks can remain on a shelf. A child can take a picture of something that needs cleaning up.
Try a cue.
Experiment with something new or familiar.
Use a timer, a short phrase, a visual reminder, or another element that gradually becomes a predictable signal that a transition is approaching.
Add movement.
Walk slowly. March. Stretch. Take giant steps. See whether moving the body becomes a useful part of switching activities for your child.
Notice afterward.
Later—when nobody is in the middle of the struggle—you might simply ask:
“Was there anything about that switch that helped?”
Your child may have an answer.
They may not.
Either way, you’ve created another opportunity to notice and learn together.
Looking for More Ways to Practice Together?
My Steady Steps Cards: Gentle Phrases for Big Feelings — Expanded Pack includes activities families can practice together during ordinary moments—not only when big feelings are already happening.
The 26-page printable includes activities for daily routines, big-feeling moments, mindful play, breathing, movement, reflection, and practicing together.
The idea isn’t to find one strategy that works every time.
It’s to give families different things to practice, notice, and learn from together—so some of those experiences are already familiar when life gets harder.
Steady Steps Cards: Gentle Phrases for Big Feelings — Expanded Pack — $12.99
You May Also Like
If you’d like to keep exploring ways to practice skills outside the hardest moments:
Small everyday transitions give us opportunities to practice without needing everything to go perfectly.
We can try something.
Notice what happens.
Learn a little more about our child.
And carry what we learn into the next switch.
One steady step at a time. 🐾
Michael Kiel, MA, LPC
Licensed Professional Counselor
Founder, Mindful Living Resources™
References
Brewer, A. T., Strickland-Cohen, K., Dotson, W., & Williams, D. C. (2014). Advance notice for transition-related problem behavior: Practice guidelines. Behavior Analysis in Practice, 7(2), 117–125. https://doi.org/10.1007/s40617-014-0014-3
Miller, A. L., Song, J.-H., & Sturza, J. (2017). Child cortisol moderates the association between family routines and emotion regulation in low-income children. Developmental Psychobiology, 59(1), 99–110. https://doi.org/10.1002/dev.21471
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