The Steady Steps™ Tool - A simple way to support your child in the moment.
When your child feels stuck, overwhelmed, or unsure, these steps below can help you move through the moment together.
Start by choosing what kind of moment this is for your child.
My Child is Stuck
Step 1 · Notice
Let's slow this moment down
FOR YOU
Getting started can feel hard right now.
Let's pause and notice what's happening before we try to fix it.
SAY TO YOUR CHILD
"It looks like this is hard to start."
"Let's pause for a second."
Step 2 · Name
What might this feel like?
FOR YOU
When a child feels stuck, there's usually a feeling underneath it.
Try a gentle guess instead of asking too many questions.
SAY TO YOUR CHILD
"Maybe this feels frustrating or hard to start."
"You don't have to get it right."
Step 3 · Make Room
It's okay if this feels hard.
FOR YOU
When a child feels stuck, the instinct is to push them forward.
Instead, allow the feeling to be there for a moment without trying to remove it.
SAY TO YOUR CHILD
"It's okay that this feels hard to start."
"We don't have to rush it."
Step 4 · Shrink
This feeling can get a little smaller.
FOR YOU
When a feeling is allowed to be there, it often begins to soften on its own.
You can gently support this without trying to make it go away.
SAY TO YOUR CHILD
"This stuck feeling can get a little smaller."
"One slow breath at a time."
Step 5 · Try
What's one small step?
Big Feelings Are Here
Step 1 · Notice
Let's slow this moment down
FOR YOU
Big feelings can come on quickly and feel intense.
Before responding, pause and notice what's happening here.
SAY TO YOUR CHILD
"It looks like this is really big here."
"I'm here with you."
Step 2 · Name
What might they be feeling?
FOR YOU
When feelings are big, naming them can help your child feel understood.
You don’t have to be right—just stay gentle and curious.
SAY TO YOUR CHILD
"Maybe this feels really frustrating or overwhelming."
"This might feel big, but I’m right here with you."
Step 3 · Make Room
It’s okay for this feeling to be here.
FOR YOU
When a feeling is allowed instead of pushed away, it often begins to settle.
Stay with your child without trying to change it right away.
SAY TO YOUR CHILD
"It’s okay to feel this way."
"We can take another moment together."
Step 4 · Shrink
This feeling can get a little smaller.
FOR YOU
As your child feels supported, their body may start to settle.
You can gently guide this with small, calming actions.
SAY TO YOUR CHILD
"Let’s take a slow breath together."
"Let’s relax our body a little."
Step 5 · Try
We can take a small step—even with this feeling
FOR YOU
Your child doesn’t need the feeling to go away to move forward.
Help them take one small step while the feeling is still there.
SAY TO YOUR CHILD
"Let’s try a small step together."
"I’ll stay with you while you try."
That's all 5 steps.
You're ready to try something small now.
You can click out of this page or return to the top.
Trying Something New
Step 1 · Notice
Let's slow this moment down
FOR YOU
New or unfamiliar things can feel uncertain.
Let’s pause and notice before pushing forward.
SAY TO YOUR CHILD
"This looks new or a little unsure."
"We can pause before we move."
Step 2 · Name
What might this feel like?
FOR YOU
When something is new, kids often feel unsure, nervous, or hesitant.
Try a gentle guess.
SAY TO YOUR CHILD
"Maybe this feels a little scary or unsure."
"That makes sense when something is new."
Step 3 · Make Room
We can make space for that feeling.
FOR YOU
Your child doesn’t need to get rid of uncertainty.
They can carry it with them.
SAY TO YOUR CHILD
"It’s okay to feel unsure."
"You can feel this first, and try next."
Step 4 · Shrink
Let’s make this feel smaller.
FOR YOU
Big new things can feel overwhelming.
Shrink it into something manageable.
SAY TO YOUR CHILD
"We can figure out your first tiny part."
"We don’t have to do it all right now."
Step 5 · Try
We can take a small step—even with this feeling
About The Steady Steps™ Tool
This tool helps parents support emotional regulation for kids in real time. Whether your child is feeling overwhelmed, stuck, or unsure, these steps provide a simple way to respond with calm, supportive guidance.