The Steady Steps™ Tool - A simple way to support your child in the moment.
When your child feels stuck, overwhelmed, or unsure, this tool can help you know what to do next.
Start by choosing what kind of moment this is for your child.
My Child is Stuck
Step 1 · Notice
Let's slow this moment down
FOR YOU
Getting started can feel hard right now.
Let's pause and notice what's happening before we try to fix it.
SAY TO YOUR CHILD
"It looks like this is hard to start."
"Let's pause for a second."
Step 2 · Name
What might this feel like?
FOR YOU
When a child feels stuck, there's usually a feeling underneath it.
Try a gentle guess instead of asking too many questions.
SAY TO YOUR CHILD
"Maybe this feels frustrating or hard to start."
"You don't have to get it right."
Step 3 · Make Room
It's okay if this feels hard.
FOR YOU
When a child feels stuck, the instinct is to push them forward.
Instead, allow the feeling to be there for a moment without trying to remove it.
SAY TO YOUR CHILD
"It's okay that this feels hard to start."
"We don't have to rush it."
Step 4 · Shrink
We can make this a little smaller.
FOR YOU
When a child feels stuck, the task may feel too big. Once the feeling has a little room, help them find one smaller part.
SAY TO YOUR CHILD
"We can make this one part smaller."
"One slow breath at a time."
Step 5 · Try
What's one small step?
Big Feelings Are Here
Step 1 · Notice
Let's slow this moment down
FOR YOU
Big feelings can come on quickly and feel intense.
Before responding, pause and notice what's happening here.
SAY TO YOUR CHILD
"It looks like this is really big here."
"I'm here with you."
Step 2 · Name
What might they be feeling?
FOR YOU
When feelings are big, naming them can help your child feel understood. You don’t have to be right—just stay gentle and curious.
SAY TO YOUR CHILD
"Maybe this feels really frustrating or overwhelming."
"This might feel big, but I’m right here with you."
Step 3 · Make Room
It’s okay for this feeling to be here.
FOR YOU
When a feeling is allowed instead of pushed away, it often begins to settle. Stay with your child without trying to change it right away.
SAY TO YOUR CHILD
"It’s okay to feel this way."
"We can take another moment together."
Step 4 · Shrink
This moment can get a little smaller.
FOR YOU
As your child feels supported, their body may start to settle.
You can gently help the moment feel smaller with one calming action.
SAY TO YOUR CHILD
"Let’s take a slow breath together."
"Let's help your body feel a little safer."
Step 5 · Try
We can take a small step—even with this feeling
FOR YOU
Your child doesn’t need the feeling to go away to move forward.
Help them take one small step while the feeling is still there.
SAY TO YOUR CHILD
"Let’s try a small step together."
"I’ll stay with you while you try."
That's all 5 steps.
You can try one small part now.
You can come back to this tool anytime.
Trying Something New
Step 1 · Notice
Let's slow this moment down
FOR YOU
New or unfamiliar things can feel uncertain.
Let’s pause and notice before pushing forward.
SAY TO YOUR CHILD
"This looks new or a little unsure."
"We can pause before we move."
Step 2 · Name
What might this feel like?
FOR YOU
When something is new, kids often feel unsure, nervous, or hesitant. Try a gentle guess.
SAY TO YOUR CHILD
"Maybe this feels a little scary or unsure."
"That makes sense when something is new."
Step 3 · Make Room
We can make space for that feeling.
FOR YOU
Your child doesn’t need to get rid of uncertainty.
They can carry it with them.
SAY TO YOUR CHILD
"It’s okay to feel unsure."
"You can feel this first, and try next."
Step 4 · Shrink
Let’s make the first step smaller.
FOR YOU
New things can feel too big at first. Help your child find the smallest possible first step.
SAY TO YOUR CHILD
"Let's find the smallest first step."
"We don’t have to do it all right now."
Step 5 · Try
We can take a small step—even with this feeling
Want to see what this looks like in real life?
These steps can help in the moment. But real life can feel messier than a step-by-step tool.
If you want to see how this can look like with your child, you can explore real-life situations using the same approach.
Please note: You’ll be asked to enter a password on the next "Guest Area" screen.
About The Steady Steps™ Tool
This educational tool helps parents support children during stuck, overwhelmed, or unsure moments. It offers calm, practical language you can use in real time.
Start by practicing during calm moments. Then, when a hard moment shows up, return to the tool and use only what fits.
If you want more support like this, the Steady Steps™ Workbook builds on these same ideas with guided parent-child pages for real moments.
Disclaimer: While helpful, this tool is not intended to be a substitute for professional therapy, counseling, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek advice from a licensed professional regarding your or your child’s mental health and well-being.