Emotional Regulation Activities for Kids: Practice Them Before the Big Feelings Come
Updated: Oct 14
By Michael Kiel, MA, LPC
Have you ever suggested a coping strategy to your child during a big-feeling moment—and gotten a very clear “NO!” in return?
Maybe you've reminded them to breathe.
Asked them to name the feeling.
Suggested taking a break.
And somehow the strategy that sounded perfectly reasonable five minutes ago is suddenly the last thing your child wants to do.
There may be another way to think about emotional regulation activities with kids:
Practice first.
Instead of introducing a new strategy when your child is already angry, worried, disappointed, or overwhelmed, try it together during an ordinary moment.
Let your child experience it.
Play with it.
Change it.
And most importantly, notice what your child shows you about how they use it.
Then, when a difficult moment eventually arrives, you aren't necessarily introducing a new coping strategy.
You're offering something familiar.
This practice-first approach aligns with guidance recommending that children learn and practice regulation skills during calmer moments so those skills feel more familiar when stress or big feelings show up (Child Mind Institute, 2022).
Practice First Doesn't Mean
Practice Until They Get It “Right”
This distinction matters.
We're not rehearsing emotional regulation activities so children can perform them perfectly later.
We're learning together.
Your child might love a movement activity and dislike a breathing exercise.
They might change an activity in a way you never expected.
Something may seem useful one day and completely unhelpful another day.
That's information.
Practicing first gives us a chance to discover some of that before we rely on the strategy during a difficult moment.
Children develop self-regulation skills through interactions and practice, and activities can be adapted as children develop rather than approached as something they should simply know how to do (Center on the Developing Child at Harvard University, 2014).
7 Emotional Regulation Activities for Kids
and Parents to Practice Together
The emotional regulation activities for kids below aren't meant to be introduced for the first time in the middle of a difficult moment.
Start by exploring them together when there's room to play, notice, and learn.
Pay attention to what your child does with each one.
That information can help you decide what's worth offering later.
1. Notice the Body
Try this when nothing particularly difficult is happening.
Pause together and ask:
“What do you notice happening in your body right now?”
You can participate too.
Maybe you notice your shoulders against the chair. Your child notices warm hands. Maybe neither of you notices much at all.
That's okay.
The goal isn't to make your child correctly identify every body sensation.
You're practicing the act of noticing.
Later, you might compare experiences:
“Do you remember what your body felt like when you were nervous yesterday? Was anything different?”
You're also learning whether your child understands, enjoys, ignores, or needs help with this kind of body noticing.
2. Play With Breathing
Rather than waiting for your child to get upset and announcing, “Take a deep breath,” practice breathing when nobody particularly needs it.
Pretend you're holding a cup of warm cocoa.
Breathe in slowly as though you're smelling it.
Then breathe out gently as though you're cooling it down.
Or imagine a wave. Breathe in while the wave rises and breathe out as it rolls back toward shore.
Then notice.
Which one does your child prefer?
Do they make up their own version?
Does slowing the breath seem comfortable—or annoying?
You don't have to decide whether breathing “works.”
You're learning how your child experiences it.
Practicing breathing together during calmer moments can help make it familiar before a child is trying to use it during stress (Child Mind Institute, 2022).
3. Experiment With Movement
Some children may find movement easier to engage with than stillness.
During an ordinary moment, try:
Shake out your hands.
Take one long stretch.
March for ten seconds.
Walk slowly across the room.
Or make it ridiculous: pretend you're walking through sticky honey and move as slowly as possible.
Again, you're watching and learning.
Perhaps your child naturally adds jumping.
Maybe slow movement frustrates them, but stretching feels good.
Maybe they want you to participate.
Their version doesn't have to look exactly like yours.
4. Practice With Small, Everyday Frustrations
Practice doesn't always have to happen when everything is perfectly calm.
Once an activity is familiar, small everyday frustrations can give children opportunities to experiment with using something they've already experienced.
The block tower falls.
They make a mistake drawing something.
It's time to stop playing.
They hear a small “no.”
Now you might recognize an opportunity to offer something familiar:
“Remember that slow breath we tried?”
Or:
“Want to try shaking it out like we practiced?”
And your child can say no.
That's information too.
We're beginning to discover when a familiar strategy might be useful—not establishing a rule that the child must use it whenever an adult suggests it.
5. Turn Practice Into Play
Emotional regulation practice doesn't have to look like an emotional-regulation lesson.
Try Freeze Dance.
Put on music and dance however you want. When the music stops, freeze and take one slow breath before moving again.
Build a block tower slowly, pausing between blocks.
Pretend you're walking on clouds.
Move through imaginary sticky honey.
These activities let children experience changing pace, pausing, moving, breathing, waiting, frustration, and starting again.
And because you're playing, you get to observe what your child naturally does with those experiences.
Games and other age-appropriate activities can give children opportunities to practice developing self-regulation skills (Center on the Developing Child at Harvard University, 2014).
6. Practice Together
You don't have to stand on the sidelines and coach.
Join in.
Breathe together.
Stretch together.
Walk together.
Build the tower together.
Notice together.
This matters because you're not only asking:
“Can my child do this?”
You're discovering:
“How might we do this together?”
Sometimes your child may use an activity independently later.
Other times they may still want your participation.
Both can be useful.
7. Notice What You Learned
Afterward, don't immediately ask:
“Did that calm you down?”
That makes calm the test.
Instead, try:
“What did you notice?”
“Did you like that one?”
“Would you change anything?”
“Would you want to try it again?”
And parents can notice too.
They liked movement more than breathing.
They wanted me to do it with them.
They made the activity sillier.
They didn't want to talk afterward.
They asked to do it again.
That's the information you eventually carry into real life.
Then, When the Big Feeling Actually Comes...
This is where practicing first can matter.
Your child becomes disappointed.
Angry.
Worried.
Frustrated.
You don't have to pull a brand-new emotional regulation strategy out of nowhere.
You already have some shared experiences to draw from.
Maybe:
“Want to try that cocoa breath we practiced?”
Or:
“Want me to do the slow walk with you?”
Or perhaps you've learned that your child doesn't want much language when they're overwhelmed, so you don't offer anything yet.
That's flexibility.
The goal isn't:
We practiced this → therefore you should use it.
It's closer to:
We practiced together → we learned something → now we have something familiar we can choose from.
And sometimes your child may show you that today isn't the day for that strategy.
That's useful information too.
Emotional Regulation Is Something
We Can Learn Together
We don't have to wait for the hardest moments to teach children everything they might do during them.
We can give them experiences first.
Practice during ordinary life.
Notice what happens.
Learn how this particular child engages with different ideas.
And later, when real life brings the big feeling, we can draw from those experiences flexibly rather than automatically.
The purpose isn't to build a child who always knows the correct coping strategy.
It's to gradually build familiarity, flexibility, and a growing understanding of what might help.
One practice at a time.
Want Some Emotional Regulation Activities
to Practice Together?
I created Steady Steps Cards: Gentle Phrases for Big Feelings — Expanded Pack to give children and grown-ups a collection of activities they can experience and practice together.
The 26-page printable includes activities for naming feelings, breathing, taking calmer steps, daily routines, big-feeling moments, mindful play, group activities, and reflection. It also includes a practice tracker and mini posters.
Rather than waiting until a difficult moment to introduce every idea, explore the cards together first. Notice what your child likes, changes, ignores, or comes back to.
Then you'll have some familiar possibilities to draw from when they're actually needed.
Steady Steps Cards: Gentle Phrases for Big Feelings — Expanded Pack$12.99 | Printable Download | Mindful Living Resources™
One steady step at a time. 🐾
Michael Kiel, MA, LPC
Licensed Professional Counselor
Founder, Mindful Living Resources™
References
Center on the Developing Child at Harvard University. (2014). Enhancing and practicing executive function skills with children from infancy to adolescence. Harvard University.
Child Mind Institute. (2022). Relaxation skills: Skills sheet for caregivers—Elementary. California Healthy Minds, Thriving Kids Project.
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